Happy Tears

I can't believe it's taken this long for this to happen, but apparently I'm finally a crying, babbling mess of emotions. Don't get me wrong, they aren't sad or lethargic or even self-loathing sentiments. They are the complete opposite....they are happy...excited...thrilled emotions! Not to say that I haven't felt these happy feelings all along the way (because believe me I have!), but I'm just not normally an emotional crier. I've always only cried when I've been angry, when something wasn't going my way, or when I can't get my thoughts and feelings about something into coherent words or statements. I've always been more of a frustrated crier throughout my life. I guess that's an emotion, but it's not the same emotion all other girls in the world cry for. Normal girls cry at puppy food commercials, or when their favorite character lives at the end of a movie. Yep...not me. I'm just a bratty, want to get my way, crier =)

Well, apparently all it took to get me to shed some happy tears was a photo shoot and a beautifying session. A simple little hour at a park flicked on the waterworks. Well, I can't say it was the hour at the park that actually did it. It was more the outcome of that hour at the park. You see, I have a very talented and incredibly generous friend named Roomie. Or rather, Alicia to the rest of the world. She's more than a friend, really. She's....well....she's special. I can't even put in to words how much my friends mean to me and she's one of those exceptional friends who has dug herself a warm cozy spot in my heart and is camping out there for life. And I'm just going to leave it at that because I've typed this one sentence just about 100 times in the last two hours and I can't get through it without bursting into tears. Just know that she's just special. She's more than just a friend to Paul and to me. She knows how I feel about her. I emailed her my MOH speech. lol!

Anyway!!! Back to the photo shoot. Out of the kindness of her heart, Roomie offered to shoot some maternity pictures for Paul and me. Something to have to show little Blank when it's older and to remind us of what we were like during this pregnancy. I thought to myself "pshawww...Roomie's in for it. All her previous pregnants have been petite and cute...I'm a pale, swollen mess!" She literally had to pull teeth to get me to agree to it. Practically beg. She even enticed me with having my little Lauren work her magic on my skin and hair. Hello! Sneak!! But finally, I reluctantly agreed. All the while I was a nervous wreck, wondering what was going to come of this photo shoot. Every day that passed by, I worried about Sunday, July 26th. What was I going to wear that wouldn't look horrific against my nearly clear skin? How was Lauren going to even work with said clear skin?? How was I going to pull off the "serious look" Roomie so perfectly documents with other clients without looking like a mean witch? How was I going to slide my swollen feet into some really cute shoes to make it a stylish shoot? How did I ever let her convince me to have my picture taken?!? And was she really going to post these on her blog for all the world to see? Oh boy. This was going to be a nightmare.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing but utter confidence in her ability to take spectacular pictures. Really, she truly is gifted beyond what she even comprehends about herself. But her subjects are usually incredibly cute and incredibly photogenic people. I don't really look in the mirror and feel like I could fill those shoes most days. So I had absolutely no confidence in myself whatsoever. Add to that, pairing me up with my beautiful husband, who has always been the cutest thing in the world to me and I thought for sure I'd ruin these pictures. But Roomie assured me they would be great no matter what I thought. She coached me on my outfits, helped me pick accessories and told me to just be myself. The finishing touch was that Lauren, so talented and perfect at what she does herself, did my hair and makeup, I thought "well, MAYBE this won't be so horrific."

Nevertheless, come photo shoot time, I nervously fumbled my way through an hour of pokey grass, hidden snakes, what I envisioned as mountains of black widows, and broken chaises. Paul was a champ...enjoying the limelight and relishing in the moment. His handsome smile calmed me and his silly jokes made the moment so very "us." And Roomie was a professional through it all....posing us in natural "frames," savoring the warm and creamy light, and snapping away while making us feel like we really knew what we were doing.

At the end of it all, even though we had warmed up to the experience, I thought there was no way this was going to produce anything worthy of putting her name on it. We'd never really posed for pictures like this. Our wedding day was a collection of stolen moments and candid shots. We had spent, maybe, 20 minutes being directed by our photographer, yet they were still mainly moments of giddiness and delight. After all, we had JUST gotten married minutes before. We didn't even care that the photographer had a job to do! Yet here we were, July 26th and I was convinced I blew it.

Boy was I wrong. I could have never in a million years imagined that I'd be so thrilled with the way things turned out. Turns out, I should have just trusted my Roomie and my Lauren. Turns out, I should have just had more confidence in myself. Turns out, I should have known all along that skipping around side by side with my wonderful husband would be all that it would take to make me love the moments my Roomie so expertly captured. Turns out, it is possible to cry for two days straight out of pure delight. Turns out, I really, really am in love with these pictures.

The most amazing revelation that has come from this, isn't so much that hey maybe I CAN pull off a serious look, or maybe I'm really not that horrific looking. It's that Paul and I are creating something so beautiful, so innocent and so pure. You can actually catch a glimpse of the love we share between us that has enabled us to create our little baby growing inside me. You can actually feel the emotions we've shared for the last 7 months - emotions of excitement, wonderment, joy and elation. And believe it or not, I'm finally a subscriber of the school of "pregnancy really IS beautiful." All it took was a little blush and some loose pretty curls, some skipping hand-in-hand, some cheesy prom poses, some giggling in the park, and someone special to capture it all.

Thank you again Roomie for convincing me to do this and for the incredible job you did with these pictures. We will forever cherish them and look back at them and remember how beautiful this whole experience was. Thank you Lauren for reminding me that a little blush and some curls is all I need to make me feel like me again. You're an expert at what you do and you'll go so very far in this world! I'm so lucky to be able to watch you do it! And most importantly, thank you to my Paul for loving me the way you do, so beautifully, so innocently and so purely.

And without further delay:

http://www.themoderntypeblog.com/2009/07/sandy-paul-darling.html

Make sure to check out the slide show under "click here for more pictures of Sandy & Paul."

And now, I'm done crying for the day! =) (PS, my mom even cried looking at the pics! Woah!)

Thanks for reading my long update...I promise to update soon again. And for those that are wondering, all is well with me and little Blank. We're both healthy, happy and chuggin along....and we're at Squash status! YAY!

Love always,

Paul, Sandy and Squash

P.S. Just so you know, these are my talented and wonderful friends that created this all for me:

Alicia: http://www.themoderntype.com/

and my Lauren: http://www.bylauren.blogspot.com/

They are both amazing at what they do and I can guarantee you'd feel nothing but beautiful after a session with each one of them.